Saturday, October 22, 2011


The last few days I've been having some pretty crazy dreams that are really realistic. Two nights ago I had a really vivid dream about someone breaking into the house. It freaked me out enough to think about getting a dog. It really got to me, but last night my dreams were worse. I will start with the happier dream. I had a dream that we had two girls. They were either twins or really close in age. That scares the crap out of me!! I really don't want twins. I don't think I could handle it and I don't want kids THAT close in ages. Hopefully it was just a crazy dream that means nothing. My second dream, however, really got to me. We have a friend who's husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He was told that he had about a year. Well my other dream last night was of him dying. For me it was really disturbing because it seemed so real. About midmorning this morning I was told her husband passed away. I couldn't believe it. It gave me the chills for almost a hour. Just thinking about it now gives me the chills. I can't remember ever having a dream like that and it being somewhat true. I feel so bad for her and her family. Life is so unfair. This all brings back memories of Stetson. Some friends and I are trying to come up with ways to help her out. All I can think about is how I was when Stetson died. I pretty much closed myself off from the world. All I remember is sleeping the time away. That's all I wanted to do. I look at pictures where I'm smiling and I know they were fake. I can't even remember the holidays during that year. Everything is just blank. I think of my friend and try to imagine how I would be if I lost Matt. I don't know what I would do. I hope she finds some comfort in her family and friends.