Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Can I run away??

Today has not been great. About 20 minutes after we woke up today it went from perfectly sunny to cloudy and cold. Its been one of those days where everything goes wrong. The boys have gotten to where they hardly listen to me at all. I feel like I have tried everything. Maybe they are sensing my stress and acting out towards it. I'm ready to be back on our feet. I miss Matt. I have 2.5 more weeks before we get to see him again. I try not to complain because we need the money and there are women that have to deal with the loss of a husband or have to deal with deployments. I have a friend whose husband is overseas in the war. Her baby was only about 3 months old when her husband was deployed. He doesn't get to come home until May. I don't see how she does it. I feel like ungrateful for complaining when I read her FB status and it says how much she misses him. I should be grateful for the fact that this is only a short time. A woman on Cafemom recently lost her husband to a horrific motorcycle accident. I don't think I could handle that. Losing Stetson was hard, but we didn't have him for 5 years like I have had with Matt. It doesn't make any less painful,  but I know he's better off. I'm suppose to live the rest of my life with my husband. If I lose him, I lose myself. I wish life was perfect like it was before Stetson was sick. Everything was absolutely great and it only took a few weeks for it to go to hell.

1 comment:

  1. Dont feel guilty for feeling the way you do! You're allowed to miss him! thanks for sharing! having a blog is a great way to get out your emotions! thanks for sharing!