Today didn't start off too well. I didn't go to skeep till about 5am this morning. I was missing Stetson terribly. I cried for hours until I finally fell asleep. I woke up around 8ish with our boys. I was so exhausted for the first part of the day, that I felt sick. I was sick to my stomach, getting light headed, and couldn't keep my eyes open. By around noon I was feeling a lot better and normal again.
I'm really proud of Jack. We recently fully potty trained Zachary. This morning Jack kept on taking his diaper off so I left it off and put big boy underwear on him. He had only one accident!! I'm so proud of him. He went to the potty every other time. Hopefully this time next month or so we won't have anymore kids in diapers. I can't believe he did so well. I guess we will be doing day potty training from here on out. He is also starting to talk more. There for awhile all he would say was dog. Now he says so much more. My favorite is thank you. I'm also proud of Zachary. He said elephant today. To me it's kind of a difficult word for kids to say, but he said after seeing a circus ad.
As the upcoming holidays get closer the more depressing they seem. Halloween will be our first holiday without Stetson. Halloween isn't at the top of my favorite holiday list, but its a holiday that greatly involves kids. Christmas is the holiday I'm scared of the most. I'm afraid I"ll be depress-like. I really don't want our boys seeing me that way. I know I can't live in mourning forever, but its only been a little over two months since he left. Thanksgiving will make three months and Christmas will make only four months. I just hope that I will have the strength to get through the holiday season and maybe even enjoy it a little.